Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
