My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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