Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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