True but thats because hes a fetus.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
