In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the day after is always just damage control
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
