So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
