I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm passing your future prison.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
