Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
