She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize