Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
