I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
