glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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