I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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