I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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