when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You ruined the universe
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
