i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
