1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
