I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
