Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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