$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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