i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
