I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
