He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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