Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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