It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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