Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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