He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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