You made me cry and you don't even care
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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