Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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