ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
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You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
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At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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