We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
