ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
