o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
