I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
