Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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