I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize