i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
