for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
