i used baking grease as lip gloss
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
