if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hippo gnu deer
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
