I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
