Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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