Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
