wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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