I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
