Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
