she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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