I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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