Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize