OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
