im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
