I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
