why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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