Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
