I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
