Christians are straight up FREAKS
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
