I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
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