i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
